Sunday, March 8, 2009

Devils Martini can Suck My Balls! | Shity Bars

Fucking Douche Bag Assholes at Devil's Martini

So tonight was my wife's BFF's 30th Birthday and it was all arranged that we would go to the Devil's Martini in fabulous "Old Town" Scottsdale AZ. When I heard that we would be going to such an awesome place my first question was, "Please check my life insurance to make sure suicide doesn't negate anything" but I was assured that it would not be that bad since we were supposed to have a "private" section on the patio so I was semi ok with going since I could just sit there and smoke. Now let me break down the series of events that followed...My wife and I got there at around 9:30 and went to the patio and there wasn't anybody there so we though we were early, we naturally sat down and had a smoke but halfway through our cigarettes a whore of a waitress or something came over and asked if we were there for the party for Justin, we said we were there for Amber's party and she said, "Oh your section is over there in the corner" not anywhere in the patio "you can smoke here" section. So we packed up our shit and went over there and awaited the arrival of the guest of honor. She got there about 20 mins later and all was well. We had some more drinks she was presented with various gifts and the nice manager of the bar was nice enough to kick us out of our section because they double booked on "accident" and someones 30th birthday was not special enough to trump a group of cock sucking douche bags in sport coats. They were nice enough to let us put our coats on a couch on the other side of the bar and I was nice enough to tell them to suck my dick and walk out. That is really all there is to this story. I know you were waiting for me to tell you how I stabbed someone and went to jail but I am fucking old now and cant run from the cops like I used to. If its any consolation for you I got the new Dan Auerbach album in the mail today and its really good so I will posting a review on that tomorrow. Good night my chippies and always remember that friends don't let friend go to Scottsdale.


Mike said...

Hilarious...are we hitting up The Buzz next Saturday?

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